How to Stop Having Destructive, Unreal Conversations About Money
Do you have unreal conversations about money with your spouse or your partner?
What do I mean by unreal? Simply put, unreal conversations gloss over the truth, they attempt to please the other person by saying what the other person just wants to hear, or they can be conversations that beat around the bush, no one ever really saying what they need to say.
Usually, unreal conversations about money, or anything for that matter, are spoken when you or the other person is afraid, anxious, or very upset. You might fear having a disagreement or conflict resulting in the other person getting angry with you. Avoiding talking about money is really about avoiding your feelings of anger, guilt, fear, or shame, something you can experience in many of your relationships.
Please, don’t let this happen to you! Go to www.AlchemyOfTheShadow.com
I must admit, over the years, my ‘pleasing style’ of resistance (avoiding conflict) created money walls between me, my husband and my clients. When I finally got around to discussing money, it never went smoothly, and it often didn’t go well.
I knew that I, my husband and many of my clients hated talking about money. It was inevitable that all of us would be thrown into our fight/flight mode of survival.
Once we’re in our automatic, fearful reaction mode, we become 8 year olds who are having a conversation involving money that objective thinking adults need to be having. From this perspective, we only have two options available to bring to the conversation, fight (blame and defend) or flight (ignore, or try to please).
Unfortunately, for many years, my husband lived in a mood of fear, not knowing where we stood, and I lived in a mood of resentment and worry, handling everything by myself. These destructive dispositions around money never generated any real proactive action or planning.
I was also very hesitant to charge what my services were worth, much less, impart that value to my clients. I undercharged and over delivered constantly.
My clients certainly picked up on my anxiety about me asking for my price, and I picked up on their anxiety about not having enough money or trusting that they would receive the value.
Does discussing money matters in your personal or your business life cause you to revert back into your childhood beliefs and emotional experiences of insecurity, unworthiness, fear, anger or guilt?
If so, you are in a fearful, dysfunctional relationship with money, with your value, your worthiness, your capability. It is never about the money directly. Money is a symbol of value exchanged. Money is an amplifier of what we believe about our value. It amplifies what someone else believes is valuable to them and what they believe they deserve to receive.
You can be in a power struggle with money (your own self worth) as easily as you can be in a power struggle with another person. It’s really all the same.
Who you believe yourself to be and what you believe you deserve is the key. Self awareness is the beginning of a process that you must engage in. There are four (4) vital steps you must begin to take that will liberate you from being stuck in your fear and anxiety in your relationship with money or anyone you feel victimized to:
- Acknowledge where you are emotionally;
- Acknowledge where you want to be and how you want to feel;
- Accept your current perspective or situation without judgment;
- Allow the truth of who you are to emerge and to be your truth.
While this seems like a simple process, it is not easy. I had to develop a trust in love, and I had to believe that love wanted me to have the life that I wanted. I came to believe that I deserved to have a life that was rich, fulfilling, and amazingly supportive of me to be the best of me that I was born to be.
I came to believe and embrace the truth of who I really am – a magnificent, powerful, abundantly creative and prosperous being of the Universe that was designed to WIN! Everything changed after that. And, my husband and my client base changed too!
I want this for you! Please, let me help you release from your little self that attracts limitation and suffering into your life and discover your Greater Self that knows your power, your grace, your love, and accepts all of the good you are here to enjoy and to give!
Please accept my complimentary offering of my 3-part video learning series, Mastering the Art of Relationships, experience the quantum shift that changes everything!
If you haven’t yet taken this opportunity, please, don’t let it slip by. Go to www.AlchemyOfTheShadow.com and sign up for your immediate access to this information that will help set you free!
April 25th will be the last day you can receive all of the special offers this complimentary video series opens up for you.
You are a treasure to behold and I behold you that way!
Love and blessings,
Relationship Series: End the doubt and conflict of your…
(worthiness, value, security, power, love and connection)
Through the power of Awareness, Alignment, and Truth
Lately, have you been experiencing people who have similar complaints and problems? Do they get on your nerves to the point that you become impatient or defensive with their issues? No matter how bad these people seemingly are for you, did you know that they can show you where your triggers and shadows are?
I know, it is tempting to believe that other people are really creating your problems. Believe me, I do get that!
It is quite normal for us to fall prey to our subconscious victim energy when we become triggered by others. Your inner self talk might sound like this:
- They’re doing “it” to me and they have no right to treat me badly
- They’re making me angry, sad, or frustrated
- The other person shouldn’t be acting the way that they are
- I would feel so much better if ‘they’ would just change
- Why do I always have to be the one to change
- The other person is definitely in the wrong. My friends (family) agree.
Do any of these statements sound familiar?
What makes you unique is how you personally react to other peoples’ bad behavior. Your reaction is what creates your future experience. Are you aware of how you respond to someone who has violated your values, expectations, or needs? Are you indignant, defensive and guarded, or do you shrink and blame yourself? If you recognize yourself in any of these behaviors, your survival system has overtaken you.
The truth is, your victim energy is a perspective, one that we all possess. It leads you to believe that you don’t have the power to change your circumstances; that other people or situations have power over you. It can lead you to be protective and ‘on guard’ with others. Unfortunately, this fosters distrust in yourself and others.
While it feels right to be this way, protective distrust will really slow your manifesting process down considerably, things like increasing your income, love, clients to serve, or having a healthy body, etc.
The truth is that your experience of a situation depends entirely upon you. Things happen, yet, how you are impacted by them is all about your inner beliefs and habits. (This is where you want to breathe.) The habit force of your survival pattern, fueled by fear, must be recognized and let go. This is not accomplished as a one-time event. It happens repeatedly over time with the practice of self-awareness and choosing again.
I find that when I am ready to release an old limiting, habitual, fearful pattern, I tend to experience troubling people and difficult circumstances which illuminate my deep-seated beliefs. I think this is nature’s way of helping me to see myself authentically.
It does make it easier to see and release the victim pattern when it surrounds you. You can then remember who you really are in the first place – a free, powerful, accepting being of love and prosperity.
I invite you to choose someone that is currently rubbing you the wrong way. How are you feeling with their behavior and how are you reacting to them?
- Accept that their behaviors are about them, and that your reaction to them is about you. What do you notice about your behavior? Are you defensive, indignant, or blameful? Identify your resistance to the other person or circumstance.
- Establish what is really important to you. What is it that you are really wanting, more power, more respect, acceptance, etc.?
- Identify the beliefs that are causing your inner conflict. What is your victim saying about you? Become aware of the habitual thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of your personal victim energy. See them for what they are, and then be willing to let them go for a better way of being!
In case you missed this special, complimentary offer, and you would like some immediate help with your inner journey to uncover your hidden victim energies and their associated beliefs, behaviors, and emotions, please go to www.JudyKKatz.com/freedom and download my Emotional Roadmap to Freedom workbook,a simple guide to awaken and access your natural state of choice and power.
Please accept this with my compliments.
This inner work is inevitable if you are interested in becoming free from your reality of being stuck in a power struggle and not realizing what you want. This will become a new way of life if you want to live from your true authentic power and experience the prosperity and soulful fulfillment that you were born to live.
Love & Blessings
Relationship Series: End the Struggle and Conflict with Money, Men(women), and God
Through the power of Alignment and Truth
(worthiness, value, security, power, love and connection)
If you’ve been following my teachings and my work for awhile, you know that I make reference to the fact that we live our lives, not separate and alone, in fact, we exist in relationship with everything. Why is this so important to note, especially at this time? Because, creating rich relationships in all areas of our lives is the new currency in the 21st century.
Without knowing how to influence the dynamics of your relationships in all areas of your life, you won’t be able to experience how great your life can be. Instead, you’ll likely get stuck in the Power Struggle Stage of your relationships. Do you ever wonder why you don’t get the cooperation, acknowledgment, or support that you crave? Do you have difficulty trusting people to help you, to love you, or to contribute to you in some beneficial way? Does money seem to elude you? Do you feel that you have been unplugged from your power?
You might not consider that you are in a relationship with your money. You may have heard me talk about it, yet, have you really mastered this relationship? What about with men, or better yet, with the God of your understanding, the Universe?
Your relationship with money, men (women) and your God have something in common, YOU, the conscious and subconscious aspects of YOU! What you believe about yourself with money, men, and your God is interestingly the same among all three.
The truth is, your struggles and conflicts with money, men (women) and God, or the Universe, etc., are not really about the obvious. Your struggles and strife come from seeing yourself in the world from a victim level of awareness. This subconscious level of awareness dictates your behaviors, generates your emotions, your beliefs, and establishes your values that are important to you.
Now, this is not exactly something you want to hear or even admit to, right? I know, I didn’t either. Not until my upside-down life demanded that I look within myself and take responsibility for my life instead of blaming everything outside of myself. Well, most of all, I had to stop blaming myself.
After all, I was a successful businesswoman, in control and in charge. It’s no wonder I had so many challenges with men. Unknowingly, my protective, “I’ve got it all together, I don’t need anyone” subconscious energy patterns spoke volumes and repelled the very things I really wanted.
In my 25 years of being in the field of personal and spiritual growth, I’ve yet to meet anyone who has willingly accepted their victim level of awareness graciously at first, myself included.
Here’s the deal. Please just accept the fact that you do have this level of awareness within you. We all do. The truth is, it is not who you are. There is a higher perspective, a conscious level of awareness that sees you as you truly are. It dissolves the reality of your victim level of awareness simply and easily.
Perspective is truly everything! Take a look at a conflict that you are having with your finances, a lover, a co-worker, a friend, or a family member. Now, imagine that you are being lifted up to a 10,000.ft. view of your conflict. Seriously, do this and you will be pleasantly surprised.
What is this struggle and strife showing you? Do you see how you are being a victim to your circumstances, to a person, or to your own personal belief system? At this altitude, you can perceive a soulful purpose in all that you have experienced. Ask for help from your inner guidance if you have trouble seeing from this perspective.
Would you like some immediate help with your inner journey to uncover your hidden victim energies and their associated beliefs, behaviors, and emotions? Then please go to www.judykkatz.com/freedom and download my Emotional Roadmap to Freedom workbook, a simple guide to awaken and access your natural state of choice and power.
Please accept this with my compliments.
This inner work is inevitable if you are interested in becoming free from your reality of being stuck in a power struggle and not realizing what you want. This will become a new way of life if you want to live from your true authentic power and experience the prosperity and soulful fulfillment that you were born to live.
If this information is at all speaking to you, please continue to watch for my brand new, up-coming video series, Mastering the Art of Relationships, the quantum shift that changes everything! This is an unprecedented series that you won’t want to miss! Coming to your inbox in mid-March.
Hello from Judy
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